LIVING life

Have you ever looked back at something in life and wish you would have? I am sure for many of us, our list is very long. As you explore that thought, for some it seems sad. However, if you really stop and analyze it, what stopped you from doing what you wanted to? Was it time? Was it money? Or maybe, you tried and it just didn't go so well, so you gave up. Sometimes when we really want to do something, and we do it when we are young, we set ourselves up for failure as we are simply to young to take it all in and get with the program, so to say. On the other hand, there are those who absolutely know what they want, go for it, and do amazing things.

For me, I always wanted to play violin or cello. I absolutely love the music, and wish I would have gone for it. I am not a very coordinated person though, and that interferes with playing instruments. But, I have also clearly decided to guide the children in their individual hopes, dreams and desires. As they feel like they just "can't", it is my job to stand by, steady and true, and keep gently encouraging them. Can you imagine how happy in life we would all be if we were able to accomplish the things on our wish list?

I encourage all of you to think about it...what have you not done, what is it you really wish you would have done? It is not too late you know...you are alive and breathing, thusly able. Think about it, write it down...make yourself accountable to YOU to enjoy life and achieve what will make you happy. Maybe, your wishes have changed, and that is OK to. Just ensure that you actually enjoy life. You know what they say. (the famous "they"!) All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Hello my friends. It has been a bit since I have posted once again, as for some reason, my PC really hates this website. I get on, it throws me off, I sign in, it doesn't save anything. I have begun typing in word and transferring to avoid losing what I write, but if I can't post anyway...UGH!
But, I keep trying to stay in touch with you all. You all mean the world to me!

So, our house has been a "sick" house for over a week now. It started when Zach came home from college last weekend, didn't feel the greatest, and then called me Monday in the middle of the night to tell me he was sure he had swine flu. First, know that Zach NEVER EVER gets sick...so, at his beckoning in the middle of the night, I was a bit worried. It took everything in me not to drive up to state and get him, but alas....I gave him space. He spent a few days feeling icky on and off...in the mean time, I was not feeling well at all. On and off, much like Zach. One day though, hit me like a ton of bricks..and then it passed, and came back again. Then Chris and Jenna get sick, the same day. Two days later, they sounded HORRIBLE. A trip to the doc confirmed they both had virus', nasty ones, but thankfully, not H1N1. Stomach flu and virus don't play nice, so it has not been fun. Zach called Friday to say he was coming home, still not well and needed to see a doc...Scott had left for the weekend, so I was on my own with a sick house. Needless to say, a long weekend. Lots of meds later, and we are still feeling rough. Katie, who had done so well, came home early from work sick yesterday. Today, she is back at it. Thankfully, so hopefully this is short lived for her.

You know, when you start with a huge punch like this early fall, you know it is going to be a long flu season!

I am headed to the chiropractor tomorrow as my headaches just won't let go. If that doesn't do it, I will check with the doctor. Make sure my brain is working ok! =-)

I was drawn today to John 14:25-27
All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I think I was drawn, as when I get things like sustained headaches and such, my mind (for obvious reasons) goes to the deepest darkest places...I think, that I need to relax, and open myself to God....so he can speak, and I HEAR him....maybe I am not doing enough of that and he is reminding me I need to.

I hope you are all having a HEALTHY week.
Joyfully (ALWAYS JOYFULLY!) yours,
Julie

Another fighter!

It seems as if the ugly world of cancer just needs to get its dreadful claws on everyone. The morning anchor at KDLT is now fight her own fight with lymphoma. She has the exact same type as me, but hers is in a different spot of the body. I encourage you to log on to her blog, check it out, watch this amazing (WAY TO YOUNG FOR THIS) woman as she begins her journey...please add her to your prayers daily. Go to www.kdlt.com and her blog is listed right on there.

As for me, still hanging in there. The headaches are back, but I am keeping a close eye.
Tomorrow I get to visit my great aunt who turned 90 on Tuesday and has fought the fight twice...and is still alive and kicking at 90! My mom and dad will be there too, so I am super excited to see them.

Quick post for today, as I wanted to share with you all about Danielle, and ask for prayers for her.

Hope you all have a weekend planned that is filled with JOYFUL moments.

Julie

Wednesday, September 9, 2009 9:54 AM, CDT
Happy 09-09-09And of course for me, it is happy birthday! When I look back at this last year, I am amazed and so incredibly grateful for how far I have come, and the fact that I GOT to live another year. One year ago tomorrow was my last Radiation treatment...a phase of life I was so grateful to be done. I had my PT appointment today, and really got to see the difference one year makes! I am by no means 100%, not even 70, but the deal is, I am ALIVE...and darn glad to be that way. I enjoyed reading my own post from last year on my birthday...it made me smile...so I am going to repost it today...because so much of it is the same. I am SOOOO grateful to be here today, and surrounded by such incredible family and friends. I really do love you all! Susanna, your home made card from our childhood last year....again, got it out...tears. I LOVE you my friend!I pray you all a glorious 09-09-09Blessings! JulieLAST YEARS POST
Tuesday, September 9, 2008 5:23 AM, CDT
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm9:9
That is listed as my "birth verse"....seems very appropriate, do you not think?
So, birthday day...I can't begin to express to you how excited I am to be simply alive today...I feel so very blessed. BUT, do you think I could have waited until at least say, oh, 6am ish to feel this??? =-) Oh no....4:14 am....WIDE AWAKE!! UGH! Oh well. Gave me time to read up in quiet on my daily devotions and meditations, and I know many will think this is kinda silly, but I like to save cards I get the days before my birthday to the actual day, to open them on the "right" day..yes, silly...drives my kids NUTS...but, I thought, well, it may be before 5, but it is still tecnically my birthday, so it is a go for opening them....and I have to tell you...I started my day in TEARS!! Good tears mind you.....I got what I think is one of the most meaningful cards of my life - it is from one of my dearest childhood friends Susanna...she made a homemade card with pictures of our childhood - and what she wrote to me, well...I was a huge ball baby...but it touched me so deeply. Susanna...there are no words to express how touched my heart...and then as if in perfect timing....Aunt Paula...your card...oh did I smile and laugh....
Today is a special day for our little Jenna as well. Today is her very first day of Pre-School. It is a shorter session, and parents attend today, so we are looking forward to that...and I woke to the house decorated with streamers and I found out that my hubby decided to surprise me and took the day off to spend with me too, so I am very much looking forward to that.
"That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfactionn in all his toil - this is the gift of God." Ecclesiastes 3:13
May you find your satisfactionn today, knowing you have all you have not because you worked hard to get it, put in long hours, or fought tooth and nail for it - but you have it because God ALLOWED it into your life, and blessed you with the talents to achieve it - when you realize that, I pray it will all make you feel more FULFILLED with all you have, and all you are - amazing children of God. Remember, it is not who you are, but WHOSE you are...God will always love you, be with you and shelter you - now and for all eternity.
Bless your day!
Julie

Change=Fear

Have you ever noticed, just when you think that you are strumming along content in life, CHANGE happens? Not all change is bad though. We grow up, move from home...the beginning of change...as life happens, some get married, some have kids...these are all changes, and not bad ones. Maybe a new job happens for you, which is good change, or perhaps you lose your job...bad change (unless that is what you wanted!)...and it is interesting how change can precipitate the big bad fear monster in so many of us. I do believe this is a natural course. We have fear of the un-known. We have fear of the rational and irrational situations. We fear that our worst fears will come to be. However, what happens when you stop and really think about what is making you fearful? When you get down to the root of the matter. Are you really afraid of what you thought you were afraid of? Sometimes you need to find YOUR inner lion...not the cowardly lion, but the courageous one. The courage to look your fear in the eyes, or the courage to accept changes in your life, whatever they may be.

You know, when it all comes down to it, what you really need is the COURAGE to let go! Let go of fear, let go of anxiety, let go of being in control, and trust that God, and only God is in control.

I read recently a statement that really stuck with me:
Change opens the door to your destiny in life.

I loved that. I think God wants us to remember that He, and only he is ultimately in charge at all times, so he allows change into our life. Not to create fear in us, or to make us afraid, but to gently remind us that He is in charge. Though yes, we control what we do, he already knows what we have done, all the days of our life. Think that over...that is powerful and amazing. Now, I think, at the end of it all. Is he pleased with me and the life that he provided me with? Did I make him proud? OR, did I constantly "buck" the system and revolt against all change that God tried to provide me with...change=opportunity.

Once again, I remind you...at the end of EVERY storm, God provides a rainbow. It is up to each of us to open our eyes (and our hearts) and see it.

I pray you get to look through the peephole of the door where your destiny resides and see what a glorious journey it is.

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Happy Almost Friday! Well, it has been about a week since we dropped off Zach at college, and I am actually doing much better than I expected too. Don't get me wrong, I do miss him. HORRIBLY...and it hits me at the most random and oddest times....but, I feel at peace knowing he is doing well and having a great time. We talk about every day, and he even surprised me with one visit already. What struck me is what a MAN he looked like when I left him....though the past 18 years still seem to flash through my mind like the happened in a split second...but all the same....the next phase has begun.

So, I began to occupy my time with things that would keep my mind off of it all. For instance, I rearranged all of the furniture in all of the house. OK, actually, let me be more accurate....I directed the ship while I told Scott where to place it....again, and again and again. He was so patient with me. It is actually all a work in progress, so if you were to visit, it looks like our house got hit by a hurricane...I am doing fall cleaning at the same time, so it takes awhile, as my energy is still not where is was BC.

Speaking of the ugly "C" word...I had my 3 month check up yesterday. All went well. Blood sugar was a bit high again, weight has come down and my blood looked good. So, now I just have to find that amazing balance in living and existing with lyphedema, which can be a bit tricky. BUT, livable!

Well, I hope you have something fun planned for the long weekend.....wear white each day, as you know it goes out of fashion as of Tuesday...especially white shoes.
Actually, I think I will be a rebel and where white (and white shoes if I can find them in my stash) each week through fall and winter...just to be a rebel.....man, I am one wild and crazy girl aren't I....people will see me and say...(more like whisper to each other)...."there she goes...wow...she has some nerve wearing white after labor day....man I admire her...such guts..."....HA!!!!

Take care, and find a reason to be joyful today, and all weekend long. Remember, no matter how many lemons life is handing you...make lemonade out of it....because as you know, though a bit sour, lemonade is a sweet drink that quenches the thirst and makes you genuinely happy. So, I say....lemon it up!

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Goodbye - English
elalleqa - Arabic
khodaa haafez _ persian
(aabar dekha hobey) - Bengali
Donadagohvi - Cherokee
Hagoonea' - Navajo
Ja ne / じゃね (informal) - Japanese
Ja mata ne / じゃまたね (formal) - Japanese
Sayonara / さよなら (if you will not see them for a long time) - Japanese
Auf Wiedersehen - German
Bis dann - German
Arrivederci - Italian
Addio - Italian
Ciao - Italian
Buona sera - Italian
Au Revoir - French (aw reh-VWAH)
À bientôt - French (see you later)(ah bee-EN-toe)
Hejdå - Swedish
Aloha - Hawaiian
Le'hitraot - Hebrew
Shalom - Hebrew
Aavajo - Gujarati
Sampai Jumpa - Indonesian
Adios - Spanish
Paalam - Filipino
Zai Jian - Chinese, Mandarin
Zoi Geen (the "g" is pronounced like geek) - Chinese, Cantonese
Farvel - Danish
Fir Milenge (see you) - Hindi
Ayo - Papiamentu
Rub Rakha - Punjabi
Feri bhetaula (lit. we'll meet again) - Nepali
Do zobaczenia (see you) - Polish
Żegnaj - Polish
Adeus - Portuguese
Do svidan’ya/До Свидания (until we meet again, formal)- Russian
Do vstrechi/До Встречи (until we meet again) - Russian
Tot ziens - Dutch
再见 - Chinese
Yasou (YAH-soo) - Greek
Hwyl fawr - Welsh
Näkemiin (See you) - Finnish
Hyvästi (Farewell) - Finnish
Hasta La Vista (see you later) - Spanish
Vale- Latin (to one person)
La revedere - Romanian
zai jian - Chinese
Ha det bra - Norwegian
Ha det - Norwegian
Sees - Norwegian
Snakkes - Norwegian

Slan - Irish


As you can see, there are several ways to say good bye.....but none see very appropriate when you are saying it to your own child...however, I have decided, as this is not a break up, a death, a moving 5 states away...this is spreading wings and flying ( and P.S., how totally exciting is that???) that when it is time tomorrow, I will give him a big hug (and YES, a big ole' kiss,) and say...I'll be seeing ya....because how true...before I know it, he will NEED me. Ok, he will need clean clothes and a fresh food supply...and gas...and money.....and just basic stuff. So, what the fool am I to think of this as good bye?!?! It is like a long sleep over at a friends how where you just happen to pack all of your things in case you need them. Right???

Despite feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing, I am so very excited for him, and more than anything, I am PROUD of him for the man he has grown into...and a fine man he is.

So, in other news, ....oh wait, there doesn't' seem to be any. =-) So, thank you all for your support, and for getting my "deep dark sadness"...=-) over my firstborn leaving home...but if I can kick cancer in the butt, I certainly can do this with grace and style. And a LARGE box of Kleenex.

Take a good look at God's wonders-they take your breath away.
I pray Zach gets out there and sees all the wonders of the world...knowing that God is ALWAYS with him (as are we!) and that no matter what challenges or struggles may come his way, no matter what triumphs and victories he achieves, his Heavenly Father is there...with a basket to carry his burdens and a wall to display his accomplishments.

I pray all of you today, whatever your burden or joy is, know that God is with you, now and always....no matter what. If you need him, just call on him....his line is never busy, and he will never put you on hold...no matter how long it has been.

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Just wanted to check in and let you know I am still here. I have been overly busy helping Zach prepare for his big move, and spent a few days not feeling great. Headaches have really returned for me, so I am trying to take it easy. I have also spent a few days cursing Lyphedema, but I am trying to focus on being entirely positive.

I was excited to see that 30something came out of DVD today. I used to love that show. I can't believe it has been 20 years since that show was on the air!

So, I am not going to bore you today with (as the kids call them) tweetable facts of our day. I just wanted to say hello, I am still here, and will be more focused soon. Once I find my sanity...=-)

Joyfully yours,

Julie

The picture to go with the story below

This picture goes with the blog below....here is Jenna with Grandma watching a movie at Avera.

Back to school!

Monday August 17th. Just an ordinary average Monday? Nooooo....for it is alas, what so many children dread...the first day of school in Sioux Falls. Now for so many, they are very excited to see each other, rekindle old friendships and make new ones, and some kids just love breaking in new school supplies, shoes and new clothes. Then, there are the others...the ones who are NOT excited to get out of bed, who are NOT impressed by your early morning singing and glee, and after 4.2 minutes back in school, have already said hello to everyone they care to and are ready to be done with the day. The biggest questions seem to be, when is our first recess and what time is lunch...followed by what are we having...then, the moans and groans can be heard. Yes folks...back to school.

I walked Chris into his new school today, after fighting for parking, having to trip over the multitude of camera crews (which takes away the normalcy for the kids by the way), and got him all settled. In the first few minutes he informed me that he didn't want to wear the name tag the teacher wanted them to wear, because he already knows his own name. (logical to him!) From there, it just got better. "Mom, seriously...it is way to early to be working on an assignment". I told him it was a simple crossword puzzle. He was not impressed, enthused, or eager. Ah yes...another fun filled school year is in front of us.

Jenna was bummed she didn't get to start yet, but then when she got home, she become excited when she realized she got to have art and recess all day long! Good times, good times.

We are just glad the kids seemed to sleep fairly well. Better than some nights anyhow.

My in-laws were here for the weekend to celebrate my husbands birthday that is this week. In the middle of the night Friday, my father in law came upstairs to get us. He said something was wrong with mom, and he couldn't wake her. Scott and I came running down and were not able to wake her either. She was breathing, but with difficulty. We ended up having to call 911. Just before 4 am, the firetruck came first, sirens blazing down our block...the the police, TWO of them, and then the ambulance. Long story short, they took her, gave her some meds, and two days later she is out of the hospital and doing well after a very severe reaction to a new medicine her doctor put her on. So, from this we are once again reminded to educate ourselves, and be aware, VERY aware of all meds you are taking, what they do, what the side effects are, and when you need to worry. Had we not called the paramedics, she might not be here today.

Though the first day of school may not feel so joyful, find ways to be joyful today...because you woke up, you are alive, and that is the first (and most important) step of the day.

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Good Afternoon! Finally back on my blogger site. There was an issue with my password for over a week now, and trying to get assistance, well....not an easy thing.

This morning, after not nearly enough coffee, I was cleaning out a drawer looking for a few things. I found something that Jenna had been searching for days before, so I went to her all excited....she looked at me, with a total "ATTITUDE" face and said..."I am so over that...that was so yesterday". I seriously didn't know what to say! My initial reaction was disgust at her little "tude" towards me, but then hysterical laughter wanted to erupt out of me. I pondered, gently reminded her that throwing attitude to mom will never get you anywhere, then had a good belly laugh over it. Man that felt good...have you belly laughed lately??? Give it a good whirl. It is so very therapeutic.

I have finally recovered from my class reunion gatherings....from the looks of the pictures, I look half drunk (ok, all the way)...HOWEVER, I didn't have one drink the whole weekend. It is just sheer exhaustion. That is one of the "things" that still haunts me after treatment. I just don't have my stamina back yet!

I hope to see my friend Jackie K later today. She is in radiation right now. Shoot a few prayers out her way for me if you would.

Well, keeping this a bit shorter....from the sounds of the shrieks I just heard, someone must have their hand caught in a blender. =-)

Joyfully yours,
Julie

There's no place like home

We hit the road last week for another one of our journey's to see Chris' doctors in MNPLS. I haven't done that drive since last year, and I didn't realize how difficult it would be on me! We got about half way when I realized I didn't have my pump with, and that it would be days without it...I thought, well, maybe this won't be so bad....WRONG. When we got home, I was on for 3 cycles, which is about 6 hours, or most of the overnight. This morning I am STILL puffy and swollen. Car rides +lymphedema=DISASTER!

Anyway...we returned safely, which is what we prayed for. His doctor visit wasn't all I hoped it would be, but we are sorting through it all trying to make the best decisions for Chris. He has another appointment in two weeks at the CASTLE, which he is actually looking forward to.

On another note, I can't tell you how very nice it was having everyplace SMOKE FREE in Minnesota. I really hope our state can work out all of the details, and see that it really is in the greater good of ALL. I may come off as very opinionated on this, but I don't feel like a smoker should EVER have the "RIGHT" to subject ME or my family to cancer, asthma, or just the plain sick smell smoking gives. Again, it is how I feel.

I still can't believe we are now in the month that school starts, my eldest moves out, and summer is over. UGH! I love summer...especially this year when we have been having such great temps. It sounds like August may get pretty hot though!

So, I have talked about it before, but what have you done for YOU lately? What have you done in the day that made you smile? I listened to a story on longevity, and the people they interviewed all lived over 100. A few of the key common factors were:

They ALL ate less than we "normal" Americans do. In fact, they found that they ate only about eighty percent of what we take in during a normal day. FOOD for thought! =-)

They ALL exercised on a regular basis.

They ALL practiced lives with NO stress. Simply put, they learned that nothing matters enough to get THAT worked up about it. They also ensured that they put time to meditate each day. NO matter what.

I think there is something to be said for their lifestyle. We should all give it a try....but again, it goes back to what I said before....time to make sure you are doing something for YOU each and every day!

With that, off to make ME happy!

JOYFULLY YOURS,
Julie

Good Morning! Looks like it is shaping up to be a beautiful day.
The kids have their last day of swimming lessons today. They have done great, and Chris keeps telling us that he is an expert now. He is so proud! Jenna has mastered dunking her head (SUPER FAST) so she is feeling pretty good as well.

Zach worked his last shift at Walgreen's last night (sniff sniff), however it looks like Katie will be taking his place...(LONG LIVE THE FAMILY DISCOUNT!!!) Walgreen's really is all that! It is so handy to have a drug store on the end of your block. I have become pretty spoiled with it actually. No more fretting over running out of milk...and a majority of time, they have the cheapest in town (outside of Sam's club).

We are gearing up for more doctor appointments with Chris, and hope to get him on the road to good health before school starts. They STILL can not determine what is ailing our poor young man. PRAYER PLEASE. He has another open house at the elementary school tonight....it will be great to see the progress made.

In just TWO days, my first born turns 18. I can't tell you the swell of different emotions that is bringing on. I am actually left quite shocked that he is this age already. When they say life goes fast, you don't believe them, until you watch one of your children grow up before you, and prepare to begin their own life journey...again, SNIFF SNIFF.

I have however been blessed with fabulous children that are so very good. I am indeed a lucky woman. Zach is an extraordinary man, and I am so very proud of him. I know he will do great things in life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON! I love you!

Well, keeping it rather short today. I am a bit sore, and sitting here actually, well hurts! So, I am going to cruise out and rest on my side for a spell.

My good friend Karla, who many of you have followed her journey as well, is in surgery as we speak. Please pray for her, her surgical team, and her continued healing.


Be joyful today.
Julie

ACS RELAY WALK DAY!!!!

HOORAY!!! IT IS ACS RELAY WALK DAY!

We are very excited today with the American Cancer Society's Relay day at hand. We have our shirts, and cooler of water and bug spray and sunscreen all ready to go...hats in hand, and the greatest attitude ever. Last year at this time, I was in the midst of my battle...I believe I was about in round 4 of chemo...exhausted, we headed out for the walk...I was bald...totally bald...with my little turban thingee around my head I headed out, feeling a bit self conscious...UNTIL, I got out there....around all the other people....current fighters, survivors...caregivers, family and friends...all who "GOT IT"....who embraced me, cared for me, and made me feel, at home...at ease....and just plain NORMAL. That was such a gift to me, and to my family. My girlfriends Stacie and Sarah came out and joined us. My girlfriend Sharon (another survivor) and I walked until I was so physically exhausted I could do no more....but it was the best tired ever...it made me feel like I too, could beat the beast...come out the winner....I had a new lease on life and treatment when I walked and SAW all the survivors...young and old.

Now, today, I get to attend as a SURVIVOR. I still get chills and tears when I type that word....SURVIVOR...it is so sweet. I hope to be out there tonight, and be an encourager...maybe there will be someone just like I was last year...feeling a bit hopeless or down, and maybe, just maybe...I can show them that they too can win this fight...and that they are never alone. EVER.

If you are able, please come out and join us tonight. Canaries stadium is where the walk will take place, from 6pm-6 am.

I hope to post some pictures in the coming days, especially of all the luminaries we did for our dear friends~ both survivors, current battlers and those who bravely fought, but lost the war.

Today, I remember my Uncle Bob Schultze, who left us to be with our Lord and Savior on July 4th, 2007, and my Aunt Renea' who lost her fight one year to the day before Bob, on July 4th 2006. I sat at Renea's bedside in the weeks prior to her passing, and was with her in the moment she proceeded to Heaven...it changed me forever. They are gone, but NEVER forgotten. I love them both dearly.

To Jackie K....keep fighting the good fight girl...we are here with you....

To all my survivor friends.....Keep have our "ROCK STAR" days.....and keep encouraging on the countless fighters that need us now.

You all go out and have a "ROCK STAR" day for me...and I hope to see you all at the walk tonight!

JOYFULLY Yours, and grateful to be alive today, and everyday,

JULIE

Greetings! I think a few people think I fell off the face of the earth judging by a few emails I got!
I am indeed still here. I took a few days to go and visit my folks out in Rapid, and spent a couple of glorious days at the cabin...that is my favorite thing to do. Waking each morning to the sound of the creek running swiftly, and the sound of the forest, and nothing but the forest....I love to sit on the deck with a cup of coffee and just "be". This year, Chris came out, a cup of coffee in hand and joined me. It was very sweet. But it is also good to be home. I missed my hubby!

Chris still isn't feeling well. The chronic cough (scary at times) is not improving, despite the many medications. We have to add another one now, so that brings his daily total to 11 pills. Quite a bit for an 8 year old. I will be very glad when we have some conclusive answers to what is going on with him. He has a pulmonary function test tomorrow AM, then meets with the pulminologist in August. Until then, pray for him please.

While we were in Rapid, a young boy and his father were killed in a motorcycle accident. The young boy was 8, the same as Chris. There deaths are weighing very heavy on my thoughts and heart today. I can only imagine what the mother and sibling are going through. A tragedy few can imagine and no one should need to experience. We turn to God to ask "WHY???" but the answers will never be clear. We just need to hold on to the faith that God is holding little hunter in his arms now, and that he is in the most incredible and beautiful place with his father, both earthly and eternal.
I truly believe I will live to see the Lord's goodness. Psalm 27:13

I can't begin to imagine why children leave us early, but I will sit and listen for God, and I will pray for the family that have lost so much. I hope you all join me.

Life is short, unpredictable and we have no guaranteed tomorrow. Please find a reason to be joyful today, and everyday.

Julie

Looking for the sun

I woke up to another cloudy day. I struggle sometimes to paint on that smile when the sun just isn't there to cheer me on....but I have found, that if I start on a bad note, the trickle effect really kicks in and it washes down through each and every family member around me.

Have you ever had that happen to you? Maybe, you are doing GREAT yourself, but then a child, spouse or co-worker is having a "ugly" moment and you suddenly don't feel as chipper as you did just five minutes prior? Wouldn't be nice if (similar to the movie CLICK) we had a remote that we could rewind, and undo what caused us to feel that way? Sometimes I think YES...but other times, I am reminded that each and every moment, trial and tribulation...fabulous and horrible..each moment leads us right to where we are meant to be. It leads us to the experiences we have, both good and bad...and the bad ones, though they hurt and burn, once they heal they lead us to a better understanding of something else...even when we can't see it that way at a time.

I think, instead of trying to rewind and undo what doesn't feel great or give us instant sunshine, we should look at how we can create our sunshine on our own...and shine brightly on those around us. Maybe, just maybe we can make the world a better place, on ray of light at a time.

I want to thank quite a few of you who have been sending me updates on your personal "honey do" lists that you have been tackling on your own...some of them have really cracked me up, and I feel so very proud of you guys! Also, I loved the couple that sent me questions for "self help"...everyone knows I usually have an opinion or thought, (though not always right...no one but God is perfect!)...

So, with that, if anyone has a subject that they want me to tackle, either post it in my comments, or keep emailing me. I love your feedback....not as great as human contact, but it keeps me up with everyone! Keep working on your lists, and find something new to do today, that you hadn't planned...just to shake things up!

Happy Tuesday. Be JOYFUL!
Julie

Good FRIDAY afternoon! It seems that whenever people hear the word Friday, they just spontaneously smile...kids and adults alike. My kids love Friday, because we have two days of family time then, later bedtimes, and usually something fun thrown in (fun...what life is about!) For us, we started the day with something I have been dreading, putting off, finding reasons to avoid...but alas, the kids cornered me, so off we went...to ...(GASP!) Chuck E. Cheese...you know mom, where a kid can be a kid! Let me tell you, nothing gets me THRILLED like knowing I get to go spend time around a group of screaming, whining kids, as is usually the case there. However, today was a bit different. We arrived around 10:30. A few random people, but only a handful. So far, so good. I explained to my kids that we were NOT eating there (Chris is allergic to most of their food...NOT fun!) so we were just there to play. I further explained we had a certificate...we could use a SET amount for their tokens....boundries...I believe they are not only important, but crucial in raising respectful children. I also explained how we were going to stay together, play the games TOGETHER, and spend some good bonding time.

Yep. That lasted 4 minutes...then...MOM...he pushed me! Mom, she stole my coins! AND my favorite part....when he frustrated her because they were racing, he won, and she screamed loud enough for even the poor folks eating down the block at Granite City could here her....and it wasn't a short bellow....oh no, it was a LOOONNNNGGGG howl....like she was having her toe pinched off.....AHHH...the joys of chuck e cheese. I am however a great mom for taking them, and they have been extra helpful around the house.

I will let you in on another small bit of "bribery" (such a dirty word, but yes, that is indeed what it is!) that I like to use. Friday's are penny per ounce at Get n Go...that applies to their ICEE'S too if you use the Get N Go cup....so, for 22 cents a kid, they can each get an ICEE, and I get chores done without complaint! I have learned in the past that if you actually want anything done, you need to get it done BEFORE you provide the ICEE, but all the same...it is cheap and easy...and works like a charm!

I am getting very excited as Zach and Kate will be home on Sunday. I can't wait to hear of their experience at Rainbow Trails.

I hope you all have a good weekend planned, or maybe not "planned", as often times, those are the BEST times. Just remember to not only do something good for someone else around you, but do something nice for yourself....after all, you deserve it!

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Beware of the skunk

My daughter was playing with her brother today. Mostly nicely, but at moments, not so much. I heard a couple of exchanges, then Jenna came stopping out of her room and told me "this is my pet skunk. I trained him to only spray strangers. I am going to teach him Chris is now a stranger!" You can imagine her expression and true disgust in the moment. For me, pure JOY. I had to actually work very hard at not bursting into combustible laughter. Apparently, (one of Christopher's favorite sayings!) Jenna was annoyed at him because he said he didn't want to play, he just wanted to stare at the wall and check out the paint color. Tell me, do you think he did that simply to annoy his little sister....if I were a bettin' woman.....

We had also enjoyed some family time at the movies today. We went to UP in 3D at the Carmike. Now, here's my review.....Movie, b-c....cute, but could have waited for it on video. The 3D effect, which by the way, they charge EXTRA for per person. Totally not worth it. Not for this movie. At times, it was simply dizzying...and I only can think of 3 or so spots where the 3D was actually 3D....so, if you are going to see it, save your money on the 3D, see it regular, or wait for it to hit Redbox....ALSO, if you haven't used Redbox before....it is AWESOME! I have never had an issue...and 1.00 for a movie a day? You can't beat that ....I LOVE a good deal!

The kids are hoping to see Ice Age 3 very soon, but we need to wait for Katie to be home from Camp...she wants to see it to. I don't think I'll upgrade to 3D on that one either. FYI, in a 3D movie, if the glasses start to get to you, you CAN NOT take them off easily or the movie just appears blurry!

So, that is our day in a nutshell. We are going to head out and let the kids ride bike a bit. Then, home to work on the sump pump...in all the driving rain last night, it FAILED....I heard my hubby use some "words"....that, well let's just say we wouldn't use in church. =-) Anyhow, yet another project to add to the honey do list. (HIS, NOT MINE!!!!)

Have a blessed night!
Julie

Even in the not so joyful things...

I had my younger son at the doctor this am. He is 8, and has dealt with his fair share, plus many more of health ailments in his young age. He takes it all like a champion however, and I have been always so proud of him for what he endures and takes in stride. He has been struggling lately with horrible heartburn and a horrendous cough that about chokes him. In fact, it wakes him several times a night. Not good for a growing young man! We come to find at the doctor today (who is the best doctor ever) today, that he is dealing with Reflux. At age 8. It leaves me to ponder so very many things. In our society today, everything is processed, over processed and artificial. We are a society that demands everything NOW...gone are the days of good old fashioned cooking, using REAL foods, real ingredients, and with a dash of LOVE in every bite. Now, we look for quick, easy and convenient, without a slightest pause of thought for what it might be doing to us all in the long run. When looking for the meaning, or the "joyful" thought in everything, I must look at this too as a reason to pause, slow down, and see the what and why in the situation at hand.

When we were leaving Dr. Kooima's office, Chris said, "so this means ANOTHER daily pill, right mom?" I said yes, and we really have to watch the foods you are so intolerable to...make sure you are not taking them in. You really will feel so much better. Chris looked at me and said, "yeah, I suppose...or you could just start cooking better and I wouldn't have this problem".... AH, the joyful moment....humor from a child. Yes, it all boils down to me not cooking well!

I really had to laugh at that thought, as last night I cooked a FABULOUS recipe from my Cook Yourself Thin cookbook. I made chicken parmigiana the "healthy" way. The couldn't gobble it up fast enough. My kids were eating zucchini like it was cake...I was very pleased...and Chris at breakfast this morning said, "you know mom, I think I lost a dress size from dinner last night!" Boy, another joyful moment....I asked him what his dress size was to start, and HEY...why are YOU wearing dresses! He laughed and laughed.....

If you have never seen the show, you really should check it out on Lifetime for Women. It is a show called Cook Yourself Thin. It takes your favorite recipes and trips them out so they are healthy for you. AND, the best...they taste GREAT. There is a website online with a lot of their recipes, and tips...or there is a book, which I LOVE. We are having a turkey-spinach meatloaf tonight which the kids picked and are going to help cook (most of you know Chris is our resident chef!) So, I will let you know tomorrow how it goes. If you do get a chance, check out the show or DVR it...it is a lot of fun to watch.

Well, I am off to start working on my honey do list...I made one for myself, and take great pride when I can cross an item off. It may take me awhile, but I feel great tackling items. You should all try it...make a list, something you can SEE, hold yourself a bit accountable for it..and add to it things you don't know how to do, so you learn a new skill. Most importantly, have FUN doing it...create a joyful moment for YOU.

Have a great day!
Julie

Good Afternoon!

When we talk about joyful moments in life, sometimes you don't have to look very far to take one in. Last night, shortly after 11, I stepped out on our back deck for a peaceful moment and to breath the fresh clean air without the sights and sounds of all the passing traffic. I looked up and was stunned to see not only a full moon, but one with a ring around it....something like I have never seen before. Of course, I had to get online right away to find out what causes this stunning effect, as I have never seen it before. Here is what I found.

Rings around the moon are caused when moonlight passes through thin clouds of ice crystals high in Earth's atmosphere. As moonlight passes through the ice crystals, it is bent in a way similar to light passing through a lens. The shape of the ice crystals causes the moonlight to be focused into a ring. This is similar to the way water droplets in the lower atmosphere can bend sunlight to create a rainbow.

Is that cool or what? Sometimes the beauty of God's earth just stuns me....and I love to take a few moments and take it all in....deep breath, and just be grateful for all I have been given and blessed with.

Today, I started my "new and improved" healthy living and eating. I am back to eating the LA way...as that worked so very well for me before. I plan to keep you all in the loop...as you are now my accountability partners...(thank you by the way!) I am also working on trying to exercise, which becomes very tricky with some of my physical limitations. I try not to get all bummed out about it, as some of you may remember what an exercise buff I was before. SO, the "new way of living" goals are what is on my plate for today. I heard a song earlier today, and the first line of it hit straight to how I feel...."I've been traveling on this road so long, just trying to make my way back home, the old me is dead and gone, dead and gone."

This is very true for me. Once you have had cancer, nothing and I do mean NOTHING is ever the same again. Your prospective on life, and all aspects of it changes. When you reach that pinnacle point where it is time to make the next step, you realize you mourn for the life you once had, but you are so very grateful to be able to carve out and go down a different path. While it seem like the road bumps in life are actually potholes that might just open up and swallow you whole, you realize that they simply are speed bumps, meant to slow you down and make you think, and possible continue down the same road, but maybe, just maybe they are there to take you down a different path, one you didn't even realize was there.

I choose today to view all of this as life granted me the chance to explore the new path, and find ways with my "new life" to achieve things I may not have thought of before...and when I see an obstacle in front of me, I will simply stop, take a look around and see what I might have missed if I had hurried through that particular journey.

I hope you all enjoy the picture, and have a JOYFUL day!

Julie

Happy 4th of July!

Today is a great day for me, and a horrible day for me....while I am sure that doesn't make any sense to most, for me it is a day of great inner turmoil.

3 years ago today, my dear aunt Renea' passed away from Cancer. I was there with her by her side in her final moment. I was also there by her side for the whole week proir doing hospice care in her final days. It was by far the most overwhelming thing I had done in my entire life, but also the most beautiful, if that makes any sense at all. After her death, I went through a range of emotions, a bout of depression and just general feelings that I didn't know what to do with. Cancer scared me. The next year, again on July 4th, my uncle Bob Schultze passed away due to cancer. We had been blessed as a family to spend time with him shortly before his death, and celebrate his life with him. Again, incredible moving and overwhelming. I was again touched in such a deep place. I can't explain to you all how I felt, and how I begun to despise the 4th of July.

Last year, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I was stunned, scared and overwhelmed. I had seen first hand how evil cancer is, and how it takes a life so very quickly, and often horrifically. Now, newly diagnosed, I faced what I FELT was my reality. I was number three. I was POSITIVE I was going to live, but only until July 4th. As irrational as that sounds to most, to me it was an awful truth. I was in active chemo at the time, and had faced differant infections off and on. I knew my end date. July 4th, 2008. As the saying goes, things happen in three's. I was to be number three for our family. I KNOW for some this seems like a "drama queen" feeling...but for me, it was all to real. In fact, I grew depressed and faced anxiety issues in the weeks preceding July 4th. I started to think I needed to "prepare" my children. Have things set in place for them...It was so bad, that my mom and dad, sister and brother in law, as well as the Knutsen's (my aunt, uncle and cousins) came down to spend the day with me...to show me that I would indeed live and be ok. I was not convinced....BUT, obviously, the day came and went...and I am still here today. Alive, maybe not always well, but alive at that.

The reason I share all of this with you today is that as I woke, I felt a mix of emotions...I felt such incredible gladness to be alive...to have broken the vicious circle of cancer deaths in our family. I felt truly BLESSED that God has allowed me to spend more time with my family. There is no way to describe how overwhelming that is. But I also feel sorrow and sadness, or loss...I MISS my aunt and uncle. I know first hand how their immediate family feels with them being gone, and I KNOW how I felt, knowing (thinking) I was going to leave mine. There is no way to prepare for that. I only pray that the Knutsens and Schultzes all KNOW, beyond a shaddow of a doubt that Renea' and Bob are in the most incredible place of all....they are home, seated with their Father, who takes great delight in them always, and their pain is gone, disease has no home in them, and they are always with us, in our hearts and minds.

I am grateful today...JOYFUL, that I can be here to share this with you, and hope that you embrace all around you today...Remember to tell EVERYONE how much you love them, and tell YOURSELF.

Happy 4th of July. Be safe!

Julie

Good Morning! The first official blog....kind of an exciting thing! I felt very good when I shut down caringbridge, as I felt like I was able to finally begin a new chapter in life. HOWEVER, one thing I did miss was all of the interaction with all of you, and the ability to write. So I was interested when some friends sent me some blog sites and suggested I jump in. Hopefully, as the title of my site says, we can share lifes JOYFUL moments. Really, you get them everyday, whether you realize it or not. The first joy you get is simply waking up. You GET to live another day. Isn't that awesome? From there...we have a roof over our head and food on our table. That is very joyful....and for me, the biggest joy of all...looking into the beautiful faces of my husband and children...their smiling faces bring me more joy than I can express.

Where is YOUR joy?

I hope you all jump on the "joyful" train with me and enjoy this blog. Should be a fun ride!

Glad to "be" with you all again!
Love,
Julie