Good Morning! Looks like it is shaping up to be a beautiful day.
The kids have their last day of swimming lessons today. They have done great, and Chris keeps telling us that he is an expert now. He is so proud! Jenna has mastered dunking her head (SUPER FAST) so she is feeling pretty good as well.

Zach worked his last shift at Walgreen's last night (sniff sniff), however it looks like Katie will be taking his place...(LONG LIVE THE FAMILY DISCOUNT!!!) Walgreen's really is all that! It is so handy to have a drug store on the end of your block. I have become pretty spoiled with it actually. No more fretting over running out of milk...and a majority of time, they have the cheapest in town (outside of Sam's club).

We are gearing up for more doctor appointments with Chris, and hope to get him on the road to good health before school starts. They STILL can not determine what is ailing our poor young man. PRAYER PLEASE. He has another open house at the elementary school tonight....it will be great to see the progress made.

In just TWO days, my first born turns 18. I can't tell you the swell of different emotions that is bringing on. I am actually left quite shocked that he is this age already. When they say life goes fast, you don't believe them, until you watch one of your children grow up before you, and prepare to begin their own life journey...again, SNIFF SNIFF.

I have however been blessed with fabulous children that are so very good. I am indeed a lucky woman. Zach is an extraordinary man, and I am so very proud of him. I know he will do great things in life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON! I love you!

Well, keeping it rather short today. I am a bit sore, and sitting here actually, well hurts! So, I am going to cruise out and rest on my side for a spell.

My good friend Karla, who many of you have followed her journey as well, is in surgery as we speak. Please pray for her, her surgical team, and her continued healing.


Be joyful today.
Julie

ACS RELAY WALK DAY!!!!

HOORAY!!! IT IS ACS RELAY WALK DAY!

We are very excited today with the American Cancer Society's Relay day at hand. We have our shirts, and cooler of water and bug spray and sunscreen all ready to go...hats in hand, and the greatest attitude ever. Last year at this time, I was in the midst of my battle...I believe I was about in round 4 of chemo...exhausted, we headed out for the walk...I was bald...totally bald...with my little turban thingee around my head I headed out, feeling a bit self conscious...UNTIL, I got out there....around all the other people....current fighters, survivors...caregivers, family and friends...all who "GOT IT"....who embraced me, cared for me, and made me feel, at home...at ease....and just plain NORMAL. That was such a gift to me, and to my family. My girlfriends Stacie and Sarah came out and joined us. My girlfriend Sharon (another survivor) and I walked until I was so physically exhausted I could do no more....but it was the best tired ever...it made me feel like I too, could beat the beast...come out the winner....I had a new lease on life and treatment when I walked and SAW all the survivors...young and old.

Now, today, I get to attend as a SURVIVOR. I still get chills and tears when I type that word....SURVIVOR...it is so sweet. I hope to be out there tonight, and be an encourager...maybe there will be someone just like I was last year...feeling a bit hopeless or down, and maybe, just maybe...I can show them that they too can win this fight...and that they are never alone. EVER.

If you are able, please come out and join us tonight. Canaries stadium is where the walk will take place, from 6pm-6 am.

I hope to post some pictures in the coming days, especially of all the luminaries we did for our dear friends~ both survivors, current battlers and those who bravely fought, but lost the war.

Today, I remember my Uncle Bob Schultze, who left us to be with our Lord and Savior on July 4th, 2007, and my Aunt Renea' who lost her fight one year to the day before Bob, on July 4th 2006. I sat at Renea's bedside in the weeks prior to her passing, and was with her in the moment she proceeded to Heaven...it changed me forever. They are gone, but NEVER forgotten. I love them both dearly.

To Jackie K....keep fighting the good fight girl...we are here with you....

To all my survivor friends.....Keep have our "ROCK STAR" days.....and keep encouraging on the countless fighters that need us now.

You all go out and have a "ROCK STAR" day for me...and I hope to see you all at the walk tonight!

JOYFULLY Yours, and grateful to be alive today, and everyday,

JULIE

Greetings! I think a few people think I fell off the face of the earth judging by a few emails I got!
I am indeed still here. I took a few days to go and visit my folks out in Rapid, and spent a couple of glorious days at the cabin...that is my favorite thing to do. Waking each morning to the sound of the creek running swiftly, and the sound of the forest, and nothing but the forest....I love to sit on the deck with a cup of coffee and just "be". This year, Chris came out, a cup of coffee in hand and joined me. It was very sweet. But it is also good to be home. I missed my hubby!

Chris still isn't feeling well. The chronic cough (scary at times) is not improving, despite the many medications. We have to add another one now, so that brings his daily total to 11 pills. Quite a bit for an 8 year old. I will be very glad when we have some conclusive answers to what is going on with him. He has a pulmonary function test tomorrow AM, then meets with the pulminologist in August. Until then, pray for him please.

While we were in Rapid, a young boy and his father were killed in a motorcycle accident. The young boy was 8, the same as Chris. There deaths are weighing very heavy on my thoughts and heart today. I can only imagine what the mother and sibling are going through. A tragedy few can imagine and no one should need to experience. We turn to God to ask "WHY???" but the answers will never be clear. We just need to hold on to the faith that God is holding little hunter in his arms now, and that he is in the most incredible and beautiful place with his father, both earthly and eternal.
I truly believe I will live to see the Lord's goodness. Psalm 27:13

I can't begin to imagine why children leave us early, but I will sit and listen for God, and I will pray for the family that have lost so much. I hope you all join me.

Life is short, unpredictable and we have no guaranteed tomorrow. Please find a reason to be joyful today, and everyday.

Julie

Looking for the sun

I woke up to another cloudy day. I struggle sometimes to paint on that smile when the sun just isn't there to cheer me on....but I have found, that if I start on a bad note, the trickle effect really kicks in and it washes down through each and every family member around me.

Have you ever had that happen to you? Maybe, you are doing GREAT yourself, but then a child, spouse or co-worker is having a "ugly" moment and you suddenly don't feel as chipper as you did just five minutes prior? Wouldn't be nice if (similar to the movie CLICK) we had a remote that we could rewind, and undo what caused us to feel that way? Sometimes I think YES...but other times, I am reminded that each and every moment, trial and tribulation...fabulous and horrible..each moment leads us right to where we are meant to be. It leads us to the experiences we have, both good and bad...and the bad ones, though they hurt and burn, once they heal they lead us to a better understanding of something else...even when we can't see it that way at a time.

I think, instead of trying to rewind and undo what doesn't feel great or give us instant sunshine, we should look at how we can create our sunshine on our own...and shine brightly on those around us. Maybe, just maybe we can make the world a better place, on ray of light at a time.

I want to thank quite a few of you who have been sending me updates on your personal "honey do" lists that you have been tackling on your own...some of them have really cracked me up, and I feel so very proud of you guys! Also, I loved the couple that sent me questions for "self help"...everyone knows I usually have an opinion or thought, (though not always right...no one but God is perfect!)...

So, with that, if anyone has a subject that they want me to tackle, either post it in my comments, or keep emailing me. I love your feedback....not as great as human contact, but it keeps me up with everyone! Keep working on your lists, and find something new to do today, that you hadn't planned...just to shake things up!

Happy Tuesday. Be JOYFUL!
Julie

Good FRIDAY afternoon! It seems that whenever people hear the word Friday, they just spontaneously smile...kids and adults alike. My kids love Friday, because we have two days of family time then, later bedtimes, and usually something fun thrown in (fun...what life is about!) For us, we started the day with something I have been dreading, putting off, finding reasons to avoid...but alas, the kids cornered me, so off we went...to ...(GASP!) Chuck E. Cheese...you know mom, where a kid can be a kid! Let me tell you, nothing gets me THRILLED like knowing I get to go spend time around a group of screaming, whining kids, as is usually the case there. However, today was a bit different. We arrived around 10:30. A few random people, but only a handful. So far, so good. I explained to my kids that we were NOT eating there (Chris is allergic to most of their food...NOT fun!) so we were just there to play. I further explained we had a certificate...we could use a SET amount for their tokens....boundries...I believe they are not only important, but crucial in raising respectful children. I also explained how we were going to stay together, play the games TOGETHER, and spend some good bonding time.

Yep. That lasted 4 minutes...then...MOM...he pushed me! Mom, she stole my coins! AND my favorite part....when he frustrated her because they were racing, he won, and she screamed loud enough for even the poor folks eating down the block at Granite City could here her....and it wasn't a short bellow....oh no, it was a LOOONNNNGGGG howl....like she was having her toe pinched off.....AHHH...the joys of chuck e cheese. I am however a great mom for taking them, and they have been extra helpful around the house.

I will let you in on another small bit of "bribery" (such a dirty word, but yes, that is indeed what it is!) that I like to use. Friday's are penny per ounce at Get n Go...that applies to their ICEE'S too if you use the Get N Go cup....so, for 22 cents a kid, they can each get an ICEE, and I get chores done without complaint! I have learned in the past that if you actually want anything done, you need to get it done BEFORE you provide the ICEE, but all the same...it is cheap and easy...and works like a charm!

I am getting very excited as Zach and Kate will be home on Sunday. I can't wait to hear of their experience at Rainbow Trails.

I hope you all have a good weekend planned, or maybe not "planned", as often times, those are the BEST times. Just remember to not only do something good for someone else around you, but do something nice for yourself....after all, you deserve it!

Joyfully yours,
Julie

Beware of the skunk

My daughter was playing with her brother today. Mostly nicely, but at moments, not so much. I heard a couple of exchanges, then Jenna came stopping out of her room and told me "this is my pet skunk. I trained him to only spray strangers. I am going to teach him Chris is now a stranger!" You can imagine her expression and true disgust in the moment. For me, pure JOY. I had to actually work very hard at not bursting into combustible laughter. Apparently, (one of Christopher's favorite sayings!) Jenna was annoyed at him because he said he didn't want to play, he just wanted to stare at the wall and check out the paint color. Tell me, do you think he did that simply to annoy his little sister....if I were a bettin' woman.....

We had also enjoyed some family time at the movies today. We went to UP in 3D at the Carmike. Now, here's my review.....Movie, b-c....cute, but could have waited for it on video. The 3D effect, which by the way, they charge EXTRA for per person. Totally not worth it. Not for this movie. At times, it was simply dizzying...and I only can think of 3 or so spots where the 3D was actually 3D....so, if you are going to see it, save your money on the 3D, see it regular, or wait for it to hit Redbox....ALSO, if you haven't used Redbox before....it is AWESOME! I have never had an issue...and 1.00 for a movie a day? You can't beat that ....I LOVE a good deal!

The kids are hoping to see Ice Age 3 very soon, but we need to wait for Katie to be home from Camp...she wants to see it to. I don't think I'll upgrade to 3D on that one either. FYI, in a 3D movie, if the glasses start to get to you, you CAN NOT take them off easily or the movie just appears blurry!

So, that is our day in a nutshell. We are going to head out and let the kids ride bike a bit. Then, home to work on the sump pump...in all the driving rain last night, it FAILED....I heard my hubby use some "words"....that, well let's just say we wouldn't use in church. =-) Anyhow, yet another project to add to the honey do list. (HIS, NOT MINE!!!!)

Have a blessed night!
Julie

Even in the not so joyful things...

I had my younger son at the doctor this am. He is 8, and has dealt with his fair share, plus many more of health ailments in his young age. He takes it all like a champion however, and I have been always so proud of him for what he endures and takes in stride. He has been struggling lately with horrible heartburn and a horrendous cough that about chokes him. In fact, it wakes him several times a night. Not good for a growing young man! We come to find at the doctor today (who is the best doctor ever) today, that he is dealing with Reflux. At age 8. It leaves me to ponder so very many things. In our society today, everything is processed, over processed and artificial. We are a society that demands everything NOW...gone are the days of good old fashioned cooking, using REAL foods, real ingredients, and with a dash of LOVE in every bite. Now, we look for quick, easy and convenient, without a slightest pause of thought for what it might be doing to us all in the long run. When looking for the meaning, or the "joyful" thought in everything, I must look at this too as a reason to pause, slow down, and see the what and why in the situation at hand.

When we were leaving Dr. Kooima's office, Chris said, "so this means ANOTHER daily pill, right mom?" I said yes, and we really have to watch the foods you are so intolerable to...make sure you are not taking them in. You really will feel so much better. Chris looked at me and said, "yeah, I suppose...or you could just start cooking better and I wouldn't have this problem".... AH, the joyful moment....humor from a child. Yes, it all boils down to me not cooking well!

I really had to laugh at that thought, as last night I cooked a FABULOUS recipe from my Cook Yourself Thin cookbook. I made chicken parmigiana the "healthy" way. The couldn't gobble it up fast enough. My kids were eating zucchini like it was cake...I was very pleased...and Chris at breakfast this morning said, "you know mom, I think I lost a dress size from dinner last night!" Boy, another joyful moment....I asked him what his dress size was to start, and HEY...why are YOU wearing dresses! He laughed and laughed.....

If you have never seen the show, you really should check it out on Lifetime for Women. It is a show called Cook Yourself Thin. It takes your favorite recipes and trips them out so they are healthy for you. AND, the best...they taste GREAT. There is a website online with a lot of their recipes, and tips...or there is a book, which I LOVE. We are having a turkey-spinach meatloaf tonight which the kids picked and are going to help cook (most of you know Chris is our resident chef!) So, I will let you know tomorrow how it goes. If you do get a chance, check out the show or DVR it...it is a lot of fun to watch.

Well, I am off to start working on my honey do list...I made one for myself, and take great pride when I can cross an item off. It may take me awhile, but I feel great tackling items. You should all try it...make a list, something you can SEE, hold yourself a bit accountable for it..and add to it things you don't know how to do, so you learn a new skill. Most importantly, have FUN doing it...create a joyful moment for YOU.

Have a great day!
Julie

Good Afternoon!

When we talk about joyful moments in life, sometimes you don't have to look very far to take one in. Last night, shortly after 11, I stepped out on our back deck for a peaceful moment and to breath the fresh clean air without the sights and sounds of all the passing traffic. I looked up and was stunned to see not only a full moon, but one with a ring around it....something like I have never seen before. Of course, I had to get online right away to find out what causes this stunning effect, as I have never seen it before. Here is what I found.

Rings around the moon are caused when moonlight passes through thin clouds of ice crystals high in Earth's atmosphere. As moonlight passes through the ice crystals, it is bent in a way similar to light passing through a lens. The shape of the ice crystals causes the moonlight to be focused into a ring. This is similar to the way water droplets in the lower atmosphere can bend sunlight to create a rainbow.

Is that cool or what? Sometimes the beauty of God's earth just stuns me....and I love to take a few moments and take it all in....deep breath, and just be grateful for all I have been given and blessed with.

Today, I started my "new and improved" healthy living and eating. I am back to eating the LA way...as that worked so very well for me before. I plan to keep you all in the loop...as you are now my accountability partners...(thank you by the way!) I am also working on trying to exercise, which becomes very tricky with some of my physical limitations. I try not to get all bummed out about it, as some of you may remember what an exercise buff I was before. SO, the "new way of living" goals are what is on my plate for today. I heard a song earlier today, and the first line of it hit straight to how I feel...."I've been traveling on this road so long, just trying to make my way back home, the old me is dead and gone, dead and gone."

This is very true for me. Once you have had cancer, nothing and I do mean NOTHING is ever the same again. Your prospective on life, and all aspects of it changes. When you reach that pinnacle point where it is time to make the next step, you realize you mourn for the life you once had, but you are so very grateful to be able to carve out and go down a different path. While it seem like the road bumps in life are actually potholes that might just open up and swallow you whole, you realize that they simply are speed bumps, meant to slow you down and make you think, and possible continue down the same road, but maybe, just maybe they are there to take you down a different path, one you didn't even realize was there.

I choose today to view all of this as life granted me the chance to explore the new path, and find ways with my "new life" to achieve things I may not have thought of before...and when I see an obstacle in front of me, I will simply stop, take a look around and see what I might have missed if I had hurried through that particular journey.

I hope you all enjoy the picture, and have a JOYFUL day!

Julie

Happy 4th of July!

Today is a great day for me, and a horrible day for me....while I am sure that doesn't make any sense to most, for me it is a day of great inner turmoil.

3 years ago today, my dear aunt Renea' passed away from Cancer. I was there with her by her side in her final moment. I was also there by her side for the whole week proir doing hospice care in her final days. It was by far the most overwhelming thing I had done in my entire life, but also the most beautiful, if that makes any sense at all. After her death, I went through a range of emotions, a bout of depression and just general feelings that I didn't know what to do with. Cancer scared me. The next year, again on July 4th, my uncle Bob Schultze passed away due to cancer. We had been blessed as a family to spend time with him shortly before his death, and celebrate his life with him. Again, incredible moving and overwhelming. I was again touched in such a deep place. I can't explain to you all how I felt, and how I begun to despise the 4th of July.

Last year, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I was stunned, scared and overwhelmed. I had seen first hand how evil cancer is, and how it takes a life so very quickly, and often horrifically. Now, newly diagnosed, I faced what I FELT was my reality. I was number three. I was POSITIVE I was going to live, but only until July 4th. As irrational as that sounds to most, to me it was an awful truth. I was in active chemo at the time, and had faced differant infections off and on. I knew my end date. July 4th, 2008. As the saying goes, things happen in three's. I was to be number three for our family. I KNOW for some this seems like a "drama queen" feeling...but for me, it was all to real. In fact, I grew depressed and faced anxiety issues in the weeks preceding July 4th. I started to think I needed to "prepare" my children. Have things set in place for them...It was so bad, that my mom and dad, sister and brother in law, as well as the Knutsen's (my aunt, uncle and cousins) came down to spend the day with me...to show me that I would indeed live and be ok. I was not convinced....BUT, obviously, the day came and went...and I am still here today. Alive, maybe not always well, but alive at that.

The reason I share all of this with you today is that as I woke, I felt a mix of emotions...I felt such incredible gladness to be alive...to have broken the vicious circle of cancer deaths in our family. I felt truly BLESSED that God has allowed me to spend more time with my family. There is no way to describe how overwhelming that is. But I also feel sorrow and sadness, or loss...I MISS my aunt and uncle. I know first hand how their immediate family feels with them being gone, and I KNOW how I felt, knowing (thinking) I was going to leave mine. There is no way to prepare for that. I only pray that the Knutsens and Schultzes all KNOW, beyond a shaddow of a doubt that Renea' and Bob are in the most incredible place of all....they are home, seated with their Father, who takes great delight in them always, and their pain is gone, disease has no home in them, and they are always with us, in our hearts and minds.

I am grateful today...JOYFUL, that I can be here to share this with you, and hope that you embrace all around you today...Remember to tell EVERYONE how much you love them, and tell YOURSELF.

Happy 4th of July. Be safe!

Julie

Good Morning! The first official blog....kind of an exciting thing! I felt very good when I shut down caringbridge, as I felt like I was able to finally begin a new chapter in life. HOWEVER, one thing I did miss was all of the interaction with all of you, and the ability to write. So I was interested when some friends sent me some blog sites and suggested I jump in. Hopefully, as the title of my site says, we can share lifes JOYFUL moments. Really, you get them everyday, whether you realize it or not. The first joy you get is simply waking up. You GET to live another day. Isn't that awesome? From there...we have a roof over our head and food on our table. That is very joyful....and for me, the biggest joy of all...looking into the beautiful faces of my husband and children...their smiling faces bring me more joy than I can express.

Where is YOUR joy?

I hope you all jump on the "joyful" train with me and enjoy this blog. Should be a fun ride!

Glad to "be" with you all again!
Love,
Julie